During the next 10 weeks I am so thrilled to take part in the exciting challenge that Kelsea & Kristin have put together. These two ladies are quickly becoming two of my favorite bloggers recently so I can’t wait to see what this challenge will create. It will be so freeing to share my thoughts on the subjects and be open and honest with how I feel about them each week. During these weeks ahead I thought I would share three facts that I know to be true in my life about each topic. I think that this will help me keep my thoughts more specific and explain how my heart truly feels each week. After all, this link up was created so we could share the total truth about each topic, openly and freely with out any fear of judgment. It will be so awesome to look back on these posts in the coming years and see how my outlook has changed and evolved. As the ladies said, be brave & share!
So, this week’s topic is about marriage. I still consider myself a newlywed (I think it is safe to do so for the first year!) so I can’t come at this topic with a wealth of knowledge like some of you women can, but I know that I have learned so much in the past five months of being a wife.
1// think before do
While we were in our marriage counseling before our wedding day I remember hearing “before you start an argument think to yourself, is this worth fighting for?” and that has really stayed with me during the past several months. There are some things that I could pick an argument about and just for kicks and giggles, here’s one example; the crumbs that my sweet husband so kindly leaves on the counter from his sandwich he makes at lunch every day. Every. Single. Day. It is super annoying. When I walk in the door and see the light shining on the kitchen counter and all the little pieces of bread scattered around I have to think to myself, do I need to make a big deal about this or can I just walk over to the counter and sweep them off and toss them away? At the end of the day it is not a big deal. Yes, sometimes I wait to brush off those crumbs until he is in the kitchen with me and I may say “babe….. see, this is not hard to do.” but that is the point. It is not hard to do. It is not a big deal. So I let it slide. Letting things slide is one of the most important pieces to the happiness in our marriage thus far and I’m pretty sure it goes both ways. I know that I have some annoying habits that he doesn't pick at either.
While we were in our marriage counseling before our wedding day I remember hearing “before you start an argument think to yourself, is this worth fighting for?” and that has really stayed with me during the past several months. There are some things that I could pick an argument about and just for kicks and giggles, here’s one example; the crumbs that my sweet husband so kindly leaves on the counter from his sandwich he makes at lunch every day. Every. Single. Day. It is super annoying. When I walk in the door and see the light shining on the kitchen counter and all the little pieces of bread scattered around I have to think to myself, do I need to make a big deal about this or can I just walk over to the counter and sweep them off and toss them away? At the end of the day it is not a big deal. Yes, sometimes I wait to brush off those crumbs until he is in the kitchen with me and I may say “babe….. see, this is not hard to do.” but that is the point. It is not hard to do. It is not a big deal. So I let it slide. Letting things slide is one of the most important pieces to the happiness in our marriage thus far and I’m pretty sure it goes both ways. I know that I have some annoying habits that he doesn't pick at either.
2// making a point to do things together
It seems simple but with busy schedules it can become so easy to let the days simply pass by. I think it is the little things that we make sure we do together that make the difference. Eating dinner together at the table with the TV turned off so we can sit and talk about our day. Going to bed at the same time instead of separately. Spending our weekends doing activities and projects together. Togetherness is one of my favorite parts of married life and I waited a very long time to enjoy that part of life with Peter so I don’t want to let those moments become less important. Of course there are times when this does not happen, like those nights when it is nice to have a grilled cheese in the living room and watch an episode of House of Cards together. Or those nights where I am so tired and fighting a headache so I go to bed early. And weekends when I have different plans with either my mom or girlfriends so we don't see each other for an afternoon. All of that stuff happens but 99% of the time we are together in this thing called life. Doing life together is about all the little moments that bleed into the big moments. I truly believe that if you are one on the little things then the big things will seem a lot less big.
It seems simple but with busy schedules it can become so easy to let the days simply pass by. I think it is the little things that we make sure we do together that make the difference. Eating dinner together at the table with the TV turned off so we can sit and talk about our day. Going to bed at the same time instead of separately. Spending our weekends doing activities and projects together. Togetherness is one of my favorite parts of married life and I waited a very long time to enjoy that part of life with Peter so I don’t want to let those moments become less important. Of course there are times when this does not happen, like those nights when it is nice to have a grilled cheese in the living room and watch an episode of House of Cards together. Or those nights where I am so tired and fighting a headache so I go to bed early. And weekends when I have different plans with either my mom or girlfriends so we don't see each other for an afternoon. All of that stuff happens but 99% of the time we are together in this thing called life. Doing life together is about all the little moments that bleed into the big moments. I truly believe that if you are one on the little things then the big things will seem a lot less big.
3// centered on Christ
And the most important part of our marriage is realizing that it is not OUR marriage, it is HIS. Everything we do as husband and wife should glorify the Lord. Our actions toward each other should mirror the love and grace that He has for us. We pray together. We go to church and worship together. We are together and bound to Him forever and no one can change that. I'm not saying that every day will be perfect but we serve a perfect God that looks at us and forgives our imperfections every day and that gives me peace. As long as we keep Christ at the center of our marriage I know that we will be able to make it through anything. Our mission is to further the Lord's kingdom, all for His glory. He is in control.
And the most important part of our marriage is realizing that it is not OUR marriage, it is HIS. Everything we do as husband and wife should glorify the Lord. Our actions toward each other should mirror the love and grace that He has for us. We pray together. We go to church and worship together. We are together and bound to Him forever and no one can change that. I'm not saying that every day will be perfect but we serve a perfect God that looks at us and forgives our imperfections every day and that gives me peace. As long as we keep Christ at the center of our marriage I know that we will be able to make it through anything. Our mission is to further the Lord's kingdom, all for His glory. He is in control.
Marriage: the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law,
by which they become husband and wife.
by which they become husband and wife.
A simple definition for such a big blessing
& I'm so thankful for the man that I get to experience marriage with.
6 comments:
Thanks, it is amazing what happens when we simply think before we say or do.... Even though that can be hard sometimes! :)
That advice: “Before you start an argument think to yourself, is this worth fighting for?” is so good. I don't always remember it, but I try to. So many of those little things are simply not worth it.
Thanks for stopping by, I'm so thankful for this link up! I really loved your post also!!
Stopping by from the linkup :) I definitely think you can call yourself a newlywed for a couple of years at least! haha. This is really good stuff. I think all of these are important. My husband leaves crumbs on the counter every day too! It is annoying, but it's really not worth fighting over. Now, sometimes I DO fight about it, but it's something I'm still working on and hopefully getting better!
Thank YOU for this wonderful opportunity!! Can't wait to share more and learn more from all of these ladies participating. :) thanks for the comment too!
You are so sweet! I'm glad you're linking up and sharing your wisdom! These are great things to remember. I love that- "is this worth fighting over?". Most of the time I'd have to say no, and sometimes I sadly realize that after the fight! Doing things together is something I'm glad we've done. Even if I'm not a huge fan of hiking, I'll go to spend time with M and invest in him. And he does a pretty good job of going with me places he'd rather not be, but out of wanting to spend time with me. Thanks so much for linking up and sharing. I'm looking forward to your perspective on the rest of the topics!
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