the first of many letters.

Everything below was written and saved for the right time to share. I'm so thankful that time has come. Twenty days after writing this I found out I was pregnant. I never imagined that my many prayers would be answered that quickly. It always amazes me how God guides our hearts and gives it exactly what it needs. Sometimes those things are hard, sometimes they are sweet, and sometimes they are confusing. But, I'm so happy for this sweet little miracle that we have in our life now. I'm thankful for a God who hears our prayers and answers in His time.


I don't write things down with pen and paper like I used to do back in the day, (I'm talking journals FULL of notes and writing from 8 years old to after highschool!) and I've started to realize that the writing stopped once I started writing here. I like to think that I'm an open book. I keep things real, and I love sharing pieces of myself on my blog. I can't wait to look back and read what I wrote, the same way I skim through all the many journals from long ago. Little pieces of me and this life.

So, here I am writing a letter to my future baby. My first born. The angel that will make me a momma. I have been thinking a lot about that little person and I want to keep all of those memories here, a space to release some thoughts and wishes for their little life. I don't know when that life will start & I know that is not in my hands at all. God will send us a sweet baby when we are ready for it, I know that is the truth. But for now, I will write, because that is what my heart is telling me to do.

{Beautiful piece of art that my cousin found for the nursery!}

December 10th, 2014

Sweet one,
I tend to call you that when I am thinking about you or praying for you. Sweet one, that is what you will be for our family. You will make us complete in ways that we didn't realize were not quite full yet, in the easiest, sweetest way.

I think about you a lot lately. I wonder if that is God's gentle way of making me ready for you, or if he is preparing my heart for more waiting. I'm not sure which it is, but I do know that He is working on something. I feel a pressure in my chest when I think of Him sending you to us. A kind of pressure that makes me long for you in a deeper way than I ever have before. I know that I've always wanted to be your Mom but I was always okay with the waiting. I still am, but this kind of waiting is different. It is a waiting for something that I know is coming, something that I feel is already mine in some special way.

In my mind, I am constantly planning for you. Trying to decide when the best time would be. Trying to make sure that all the questions have answers. Trying my best to follow beside your dad so we can support each other in this big decision. I tend to over think things often and I know this is something that I will probably apologize for many times, but I can't help but over think everything when it comes to you. You are a big deal. You will be the biggest thing our little family has ever done.

I hear mothers say things like, "you don't understand love until you see your baby for the first time", and I know that is true. I just can't imagine how much stronger this love will become when you are here with us. Here is where you belong and I know that God will send you to us when the time is right. He has already written your story and I'm so thankful to be a part of that beautiful story.

For now I will spend my time thinking and praying for you. For a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. A healthy family of three.

I love you so much it hurts & I can't wait to meet you.
love, momma.

Goals // 3.15

February Recap
1// Have a Super Bowl Party - done and shared some of the details HERE

2// Enjoy turning 28! - it was a lot less eventful than most since I was fighting some nausea the whole time. We had plans to go to a fancy restaurant for the first time but after thinking about food I decided to change the plans for Brixx Pizza. It seemed like the best idea and then we went to see a movie, it was wonderful even if it was low key!

3// Celebrate Valentines Day with a date night at home. - once again, low key seemed to be the theme for February so Peter picked up some yummy burgers and fries and we had a Netflix night at home. 

4// Begin sharing my Friday Five again. - I missed the first week but the rest have happened! Love sharing some tidbits of my weeks again. 

5// Finally finish the bathroom renovation! - well, low key also meant that I did a lot of relaxing, sleeping and working really hard not to run to the bathroom (thank GOD I never had to!) so I didn't spend much time decorating it. Still on my list and I'm ready to have it finished!

March Goals
1// Start setting aside time for my bible reading.
2// Get back to a regular blogging schedule.
3// Have the best time ever with Cassie & Matt when they visit!!
4// Make something for Easter decorations.
5// Welcome my second trimester (TODAY!!!)!

Friday Five.

The past week has been a little weird. Home sick on Monday, feeling better Tuesday, feeling great Wednesday, two hour delay thanks to snow (even though it was supposed to be a FULL day but the snow let us down!) and now it's Friday. Feels like it should be Wednesday again for some reason? Either way I am excited for the weekend ahead.... hope you are as well! Here are some other things that excited me this week.

pretty tulips thanks to my Mom, she always picks some up when I'm feeling sick
but some how I never expect it, it's always such a nice surprise!

I learned this week that I love beets!! And beets are super good for you,
so I'll take it! A nice little salad mix from Two Chefs is always a great pick for lunch.

I'm sure I've mentioned this before but I love cereal!
Like, eating it for breakfast, snacks and dinner since this baby loves it.

Melted snow and fresh eggs.

But the snow looked so pretty before it melted away! 
Now I'm ready for spring.....


Things have been crazy for the past month. I honestly can't believe that is almost March. I know that is usually what I say on my monthly goals post but seriously, it is almost March! I have a sneaky feeling that the months will start flying by now that the year has started and the calendar is filling up with exciting things to do. I love it! With all the busy days and weeks flying by there is one particular thing that I do not love... when things fall off my radar. When I have goals and ideas for the new year ahead of me or even continued goals and ideas from last year that seem to disappear. There are several things that have slipped my mind lately.

To start with, the chronological bible study is HARD! I knew it was hard when I started but after many months of being behind I have absolutely no desire to catch up. I find myself wanting different bible studies & I miss the She Reads Truth studies but I "don't allow" myself to start anything because I know that I have this other study that I'm behind on. That just doesn't make sense, right? If my heart is being pulled to a certain study and away from another then I should go where I am being pulled. At least then I will be READING my bible. So, I will be taking a step away from the Chronological study and I'll get back to that when I feel that time is right. Timing is everything. With that being said, if you all wish to still see the study each month, please let us know. Cassie and I would love to continue sharing it if you all wish!

On to the next thing. Pictures. Oh, man. I have failed miserably with this and I honestly don't see the point in catching up. I didn't enjoy the Project365 nearly as much as I thought I would and I honestly don't have the time. It has been almost impossible with this first trimester craziness and the past couple of weeks of fighting a cold! So, I will be saying goodbye to this challenge for now. Maybe a year in the future will be a different story but I know that right now is NOT the right time.

The photo at the top is my favorite picture from the small selection that I had to share... I just love the bright and happy shot! Hope you all are having a great week and for those of you in the south, let us all cross our fingers for some more snow and a day at home to rest!!

Friday Five.

Another week has passed us by. At the beginning of the year I felt like everything was going at a snail's pace since I had so many questions and concerns with this pregnancy, but now that things have mellowed out and I'm not sleepy 80% of the time, I've noticed the time moving by faster. I appreciate that a lot! Hope your week was a good one, here are some great things about mine.....

Tuesday was a nice and relaxing day thanks to the "Ice Day"!
I snow day would have been more fun but I'll take what I can get
for a day off full of relaxation and homemade soup.

Speaking of homemade soup, my moms spoiled me with
some Oyster Stew on Wednesday night since Peter
was out of town. We try and have our favorite dinners
that aren't Peter's favorite when he is away for work!

Another thing I try and do while Peter is away is Laundry!
It's always the perfect time to catch up on laundry, wash the sheets, clean up and
organize everything so he can come home to a tidy house this afternoon.

The girls are laying a LOT of eggs again!!! So excited to see
their production kick back in gear, it makes me think that Spring
is right around the corner. Now if only the weather would agree.

We have three parties this weekend for three different kids in our lives.
I feel like an official adult now, entering this new season of life that
involves a lot of babies, even our own now!! I think it is so exciting
and I'm not going to lie, the shopping is a lot of fun!

Pregnancy Post // the past nine weeks.

Or for those of you that were once like me and didn't understand why pregnant women go by weeks, I also mean, the past 2 months. I'm so looking forward to tracking the weeks and months here on the blog with my pregnancy. I love following along with some of my favorite mama bloggers and I feel so blessed to share everything about my little one with all of you! 

This is my first time with all of these changes so I am excited to see all of the excitement ahead. I loved all of the love we have received on here, Facebook and Instagram. It just makes all of this even sweeter to know how excited you are for us! During the past several weeks I have been tracking some details so I can keep all the little things to look back on one day, and maybe this little babe will want to see these one day, too!

Weeks 4 - 9

Some questions that we have been asked

// were you trying? 
well.... yes and no. We were ready to start trying in January so we were a little relaxed about everything in December. I repeatedly told Peter that it would probably take several months and he always disagreed with me. I guess he was right after all. I found out I was pregnant on December 30th when I was only 4 weeks and 1 day. 

// how'd you find out?
I knew there was a chance so I was very impatient and started taking the early sign at home pregnancy tests since I stocked up on a few boxes. I had some holiday parties to attend and I knew that there would be some alcohol involved so I wanted to be on the safe side. I took a test on Sunday the 28th because I didn't feel "normal" and it was negative. I took that to mean that I was right, it would take a couple of months for something to happen.
Then a couple of days later, on Tuesday the 30th, I still felt really off. I honestly thought I might have had a UTI and called my OB to schedule an appointment. They weren't able to fit me in until January and they suggested going to my normal doctor since they could run the same urine tests. So, there I went and I told the nurse that there was a chance that I could be pregnant. She offered to run a pregnancy test and I thought "why not? I'm sure it's negative again!" After answering the normal questions the nurse stepped out to check on the test. When she returned to the room she had a big smile on her face and said "CONGRATULATIONS! Looks like you are pregnant!!" I almost fell off the table. I even asked her if she was kidding... ha! Also, turns out I didn't have a UTI at all, just extra sensitive and feeling off because of the pregnancy which seems to be common. 

// how'd I tell Peter? 
I received a bottle of wine from work as a late Christmas gift the same day that I went to the doctor. After my appointment I actually had to go back to work for an hour until I could go home. I was about to die... 
So when I left work I decided to give the wrapped bottle of wine to Peter and ask him to open it since I didn't know what kind it was. He looked it over and told me what it was. I replied with "well, looks like you might have to enjoy it on your own" as I pulled out the pregnancy test from the doctors office out of my purse. His first response was a big kiss which made me feel so happy! We were definitely both shocked but he later told me that he had a feeling since I had been so tired lately and he always thought it would happen the first try.

// how'd you tell others? 
We decided to tell immediate family and close friends pretty soon (mainly because I was so excited and could hardly keep my mouth shut!) but the best story of all is how I told my co-workers.
I had my first appointment and saw the little angel and heard the heart beat and was so excited. I went into work after the morning appointment and emailed one of my counterparts to let her know that she will need to cover for me more frequently because we were expecting. I told her my next appointment date and asked her to put it on her calendar.
About a minute later another co-worker came to my desk and said "congratulations!!!" I turned around really confused. He then said "You are expecting, right?" I was shocked and asked how he knew? He said from the email I just sent to everyone.........
I somehow sent the email to my ENTIRE TEAM instead of emailing the one person I meant to email. Funny now, but I was freaking out at the time. HA! I'm just thankful that we are all a really close team and feel more like a family, that made it much easier.

// are we finding out the sex?
I have always thought it would be so fun to wait until the birth but Peter was never a fan of that plan so it was easy to be persuaded. I still wish we could wait to find out beacuse I love the idea, but it is so exciting to find out and decorate the room. So yes, we are planning to find out at our 20 week ultrasound, unless I can change Peter's mind before then! ;)

// any weird cravings or aversions?
The weirdest one (which I mentioned in week 7) is mustard. The dream consisted of me eating a spoonful of dijon mustard and I instantly woke up and almost went downstairs to get a spoonful. Then I realized it was 3AM and that was a CRAZY idea so I went back to sleep. Bizar... also, I could throw down a huge BBQ sandwich with tons of mustard BBQ sauce at any moment. YUM!
There hasn't been anything that has caused me to hurl... thankfully! However, I've never been a huge sweets person since I'd always pick chips and salsa over sweets but anything that includes peanut butter and chocolate would always change my mind. Apparently baby does not agree with me. I thought for a while that it was any kind of sweets that would make me nauseous but I started to realize it's anything that inclues chocolate, which is honestly not a bad thing. Other than chocolate I havn't had anything really bother me, thank God!

I will be updating my weeks here on the blog after every month so if you like this kind of thing (you know, baby bumps and TMI pregnancy details) then you are in for a treat! Can't wait to see how the months ahead will go! We are so thankful for this wonderful blessing in our life!
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