41 weeks ago.

June 30, 2016

I honestly can't believe that  Solomon has been in our arms for over 41 weeks now. Monday made it a full 41 weeks and he was born at exactly that many weeks. 2:04 am, my life changed forever. I think back on that morning so often and this picture is forever stuck in my mind......

I see it a lot. This moment is my second favorite moment of Solomon's birth story, the first being when I brought him to my chest. The moment in that picture is so special to me because I could feel the Lord so strongly. He was holding me and helping me in that room. There I was swaying on a ball, holding on to the bed, Peter rubbing my back and listening to Seas of Crimson and feeling no pain at all. I kind of left this part out of the birth story for some reason? I don't know why.... It is such a sweet and loving part, but I think I was worried about sounding like a crazy person. Now looking back, I know I lived those sweet moments with Jesus, so that I could share them. 

While I sat on that ball, crying and singing and worshiping our amazing savior, I felt no pain. I could feel a contraction come and go, but there was nothing to hurt me. I felt my face relax, I felt the smile come across my face, and I sank into His goodness. I remember my sweet midwife saying it's okay to be scared when I started crying, since she thought I was crying out of fear. I told her that I wasn't afraid, I was so happy and excited!! As I sat there and prayed, she held my hand and said He is here with you. She was such an angel in that moment. He was in that room and He was in control. 

Now that our sweet boy is getting so big and active, I'm starting to crave pregnancy again. I mean, a deep desire to have another baby. I knew while I was pregnant that I wanted a lot of babies, and even right after giving birth I said I wanted ten more. Then with the newborn phase I couldn't imagine how much sweeter it would be to do everything over and over again with precious new babes. The urge has never really faded and I go through waves of wanting. It just seems that the wave is crashing down on me right now and it will calm again. We do know that now is not time for our family to grow but that doesn't really dull the desire. It's such a sweet season to look back on what God did in that room and what He is doing now in our life with Solomon. I guess it is natural for all of that sweetness to make you want more. 

Solomon means peace and I truly believe that the peace God gave me while in labor was a gift. Such a sweet gift for a first time mom. 41 weeks have flown by.... It feels like these moments were forever ago and I can't believe we have this big boy to chase around the house now. God is so good!! 

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