I can't even describe how happy it makes me to share another birth story here on my blog. This one is very different than Solomon's Birth Story and it's kind of crazy how almost every single detail is different in some way. It's true what they say, labor is a wild animal, and you can only prepare and plan so much. Thankfully things were a LOT faster this go around, but that doesn't always make things easier. Let's start at the beginning.....

Wednesday - December 27, 2017

For about a week I was having random contractions but nothing consistent or steady. I had my 39 week midwife appointment on 12/27, and was planning to have my membrane sweep done, but Solomon had just gotten his first stomach bug, YUCK. He had also thrown up ALL OVER me, and I was so worried that I would catch it so I knew that Asher's birth was the last thing we needed. I wanted to make sure we were all well and healthy before trying to urge him to come. I also couldn't imagine going through labor while also having a stomach bug myself. Talk about awful and dangerous, no thanks! So, that appointment was just a normal check up. We talked about our plan for the 41 week appointmen,t but we were all hopeful we wouldn't make it that far. 

That night, on the 27th, I had a cup of ginger and black cohosh tea and had some contractions but nothing exciting. They were every 30 minutes or so but fizzled off once I was ready for bed. I kept thinking I would wake up around 2-3AM with real contractions and be in labor. I remember going to sleep every night for about two weeks hoping for that exciting wake up call, but nope. Nothing. The night of the 27th was seriously the best sleep in a long time. Solomon slept all night in his bed, and I was in bed by 11 and didn't wake up till 5:30, which was shocking. After that wake up to use the restroom, I then slept till almost 8. It was amazing! I remember waking up feeling so refreshed and ready, I was hoping that was a sign that my body was gearing up for some major work. 

Thursday - December 28, 2017

The whole day was full of busy work, cleaning and putting away Christmas decorations. I had a surge of energy to get things done but made sure I was also resting and siting when I had a chance. I had a cup of my ginger and black cohosh tea in the morning while cleaning and also had my clary sage oils diffusing. Nothing happened other than a few random contractions. My mom came over for dinner, and to help me finish packing away the Christmas trees, and as soon as the sun went down the contractions started. They weren't crazy strong but they were a consistent 8-10 minutes apart. 

Around 7:30, I realized things were getting stronger and more consistent. They continued to build, and around 9:15 I realized that things probably weren't going to die down, so I called the Midwife Office and talked to the midwife on call. I was also GBS positive this pregnancy (one of the many things that made everything very different) and because of this Janelle said we needed to make sure I made it to the birth center in time for the round of antibiotics. I would need one round of meds at least 4 hours before Asher was born. I told her my plan was to take a hot shower and try and sleep to see if things might slow down a bit. She said that sounded like a good plan and to call if I needed to come in. 

My mom was still over and Peter wasn't feeling that well, he definitely caught a bit of Solomon's stomach bug. It wasn't awful but he wasn't 100% and the lack of sleep wasn't going to help, so I told him to go try and sleep while he had a chance. He was beyond exhausted with Solomon's birth and we both didn't want that this time around. My mom started Solomon's bedtime routine around 9:30 since he had a nap earlier. I was totally kicking myself for the nap, but he was still getting over the sickness he had and he really needed a nap. She gave him his bath and got him ready for bed. We did the normal puzzles and books and the contractions were getting really strong and felt much deeper. My mom needed to go let her dog out and try to get some sleep also since I knew I wanted her to be with me for the active labor and delivery. Peter got up from the bed to get Solomon settled and asleep while I went to take a shower. 

I couldn't help comparing my first labor and delivery experience with this one but it was laughable how different it had been so far. With Solomon I was in the zone from the moment I felt any kind of change. Listening to my playlist and praying and meditating over a birth I wanted to have, this time I was reading stories and playing with puzzles and trying to ignore any feelings until I couldn't anymore. My mom even asked me if I wanted to turn on my playlist while I was in Solomon's room and I told her no cause I didn't want to throw off his routine. She laughed and said it's funny how things have changed. I guess being a mom and going through labor does change everything, because you aren't just you anymore, I knew I still had a responsibility to be available and present for Solomon. It was a wonderful distraction in a way, or at least in the beginning of labor.

After the shower I went to sit in Asher's room and finally turned on my worship playlist. I also put some of the clary sage oil on my ankles and feet. I thankfully loved the way it smelled and would inhale it during some of the contractions. They were coming closer, 4-6 minutes apart but also lasting for a lot longer and they were very deep. I could feel them all through my hips and into my low back. I could also feel Asher moving around and trying to find his way down which I thought was so amazing. It was so sweet to have some alone time and labor in his room. 

Once Solomon was settled and asleep, Peter and I went to lay down and try to get some sleep. I was interested to see if things would slow down at all or pick up. It was around 11 by the time I got in the bed. Laying down was so uncomfortable for me because of all my hip and pelvic pain. Going to bed at night had been my least favorite activity for several months now, so doing it while in labor with contractions wasn't any better. The contractions definitely slowed down to 10-12 minutes apart but I also couldn't get comfortable enough to rest. The contractions would also wake me up on the rare chance that I did actually doze off, and then I wouldn't be able to get comfortable again. Finally around 1 I couldn't lay down any longer because of my pelvic pain. I decided to sit on my ball next to the bed and roll back and forth. The contractions quickly started to pick up, in 10 minutes they were 2-3 minutes apart, and I also started to have crazy chills. My legs were shaking so badly I could hardly stand. This was the biggest thing that worried me since this can be a sign of hormonal transition. I really didn't think I was that far along but I know that second births are a lot faster and I thought it would be best to be early rather than late. 

We called Peter's mom and told her that she should come over and sleep at our house since we would be going to the birth center for sure. I knew things weren't going to slow down, and we would end up having a baby, hopefully by morning. I also called Janelle and told her what was going on, she told me to head in to the birth center so she could check me and see where we were at. Around 1:20 we went to the birth center. I told Peter on the way that I was so nervous that I wouldn't be dilated enough to stay, since you have to be a 5 for the midwife to let you stay. Either way I knew I wanted to know where I was at. I like to know my number during labor so I can mentally prepare for where I am. I didn't think I would be that way, but I felt the same way during my last labor experience. 

We get to the birth center and head into the room. The lights were dim and the water was running in the tub. It was so welcoming to walk in and I was excited to meet our sweet baby boy. Peter instantly put on my playlist and I started to pace the room. I definitely prefer to walk and sway back and forth during contractions so I started to do my little dance around the room. It's rare that I can be still or sit while having contractions. 

Janelle came into the room and asked me to empty my bladder so she could check me. I remember praying so hard that I would be able to stay and not have to go back home again while I sat on the toilet. Once I got back in the room I lied down on the bed and Janelle told me the sad news, I was only a 2. Buuuuuummer. I wasn't shocked since I hadn't been in labor for long but I was definitely bummed. She then gave me a couple options, which I was very thankful for. She said I could go home and come back later once things were progressing or I could stay for an hour and she could check me again to see where I was at. Peter came back in the room from getting our bags in the car and I told him the news. We both agreed that staying for an hour just to see if I would dilate quickly would be best.

The next hour was spent doing a lot of walking and swaying and also rolling on the ball. I could tell the contractions were getting even stronger and I had several that really moved Asher down and I thought my knees would give out on me. They were so deep and strong and I would have to moan my very loud and deep cow moo noise. HA, the only thing that would help. 

A couple of the big differences during this labor, and my last with Solomon, were how I didn't really want to be touched. I guess it was a good thing since Peter was feeling pretty rough and was lying in the bed for most of the beginning parts of labor. I also did not want the water at all. I kept thinking about getting in the shower or preparing to get in the tub in the next few hours but I had no desire at all. I always thought I'd love to have a water birth but I guess it's just not my thing after all. 

Once the hour had passed I went to empty my bladder (all the crushed ice water made for frequent trips to the loo) and Janelle came in to check me again. She said that I was at a 3-4 and with this being my second baby we should just stay put. Also, since I was GBS positive, I would need a round of antibiotics before the baby was born. She said she'd go ahead and get that started while we got settled in the room to stay. 

Once again, a huge difference from my last time around, was the GBS positive. I was negative last time and didn't even think this time would be different. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I was so annoyed by the IV in my hand the entire time. They put the IV in and did the first round of antibiotics around 3. The baby would need to be born in the next four hours or I would need another round, so the clock was on. I then started to really move around and try and speed things up. I didn't want to have another round of meds. I also let my mom know that she should head to the birthing center since we were staying put and hopefully he would be here quickly!

During the next few hours I tried a lot of things to bring baby out. I even got in the tub for a bit to see if I liked the water this time and I hated it. I think I had two contractions at most in the water and I wanted out. I then was freezing and had cold chills for a while. To warm up I put a thick robe on and got in the bed with Peter. The big queen size beds are a huge perk at the birth center for this exact reason. I could lay beside Peter and he could rub my hips while I had the contractions. After I got out of the water and into the bed, the contractions picked up drastically. There were several rounds that felt like they never ended. Peter even mentioned how long they seemed and asked if they were stopping at all.

The contractions kept building and I would have those really big knee weakening ones frequently. I could tell he was finding his way down and things were speeding up. Like I said, I like to know my number so I can gage how I'm feeling and prepare mentally for the rest of the labor. I helps me process everything and manage the pain. Around 5AM I started to feel really impatient and the contractions were causing so much pressure. I felt the urge to push a few times but I knew it was still early for that. My mom went to get Janelle for her to check me and see where we were at. After she checked me she said I was at a 7. I was happy with that number, but I also knew I had a lot of work to do... she then asked me if I wanted her to break my water. I eagerly said yes! I remember how much that helped last time with Solomon, and I was sure it would help this time. With Solomon, I was at a 10 already when my water broke, so I was excited for things to speed up. She also told me that the bag of waters was extremely tight and his head was pushing against it, so breaking it would help a lot. After she broke the water she told me that I needed to either stand or sit so that gravity could do its work to help bring him down. I sat on the toilet turned around facing the wall for a while and had several contractions that way. 

I couldn't concentrate on the labor at all because I was thinking about Solomon constantly. I remember having to get up from the toilet and go ask Peter to call his mom to check on him. I was thinking about him the entire night, but knowing that he usually makes his way into our room between 4-6AM every morning, I kept wondering if he was still asleep. I just kept thinking about him waking up and freaking out when we weren't in our room. Peter sent a text to his mom at 5:30 and then his mom called at 5:37 with Solomon screaming hysterically. He was so confused and I felt awful for him. I told Peter to go get him and his mom and bring them back to the birth center. I just felt so much better knowing he was right there with us, even if he wasn't in the room with me.

While Peter was gone I moved to the bed. Solomon was born while I was lying in the bed so I just assumed this would happen again. Especially since I didn't like the tub like I hoped. I tried sitting on the bed on all fours, then when a ball under my arms, and then back on all fours again. I was starting to freak out because I couldn't feel any movement happening. I then tried lying back with the nurse and my mom helping with my legs. The fire I felt in my hips and back was unreal. I was so uncomfortable but I wanted him out so I kept trying to push through it. I would ask Janelle if she saw anything happening after every few contractions and big pushes. She kept saying that he was coming and I was doing a good job, to keep it up. I was exhausted and so hot. The cold rag on my face and sips of cold water wasn't doing anything. Janelle also said that my body was waiting on Peter to come back and be with me, which I knew was true.

Peter came back in the room around 6:30 and it's so true, as soon as he was there holding my hand I felt things changing. My pushes got stronger and I was ready to be finished and  hold my baby in a whole new way. I had my husband and I knew Solomon was ok. He actually fell asleep in the car on the ride to the birth center so that made me happy too, knowing he was okay and waiting for his baby brother.

As I was trying to push in the bed the burning in my back and hips only became stronger and I couldn't handle it anymore. I told Janelle I had to move and do something else, I couldn't lay down anymore. She told me that we should move to the swing and the birthing stool. I wasn't so sure about this because I tried it with Solomon and absolutely hated it, but I didn't care, I just wanted him out. As soon as I sat down and wrapped my arms in the swing I knew it was exactly what I needed. I could control the pushes more by pulling on the swing with my arms and the squatting position on the stool was so helpful. I was in this position for 10 minutes at the most. It's crazy how helpful it was.

As soon as I started pushing more efficiently I could feel Asher coming so quickly. This of course was so scary but so incredible. Pushing with Solomon was very different. Once he started to come out, it took a very long time to get him fully out. Asher's head came out almost instantly, after only a few very strong pushes. (And a LOT of yelling on my part. I hardly had a voice after he was born from all my loud screaming. It really helped me push as hard as I could for some reason? My mom said it sounded like I needed an exorcism, HA!) Once his head was out I was so happy to reach down and feel him, still dying with anticipation to see what his face would look like. Then I had one big hard push for his arms and shoulders. I then reached down and held him under his armpits, just like I did with Solomon, so ready to pull him to my chest and be done! For some reason I thought I needed to push with all my might again, but this just made the rest of his body fly out so fast thst it caused his butt and legs to hit the floor. My mom laughs when talking about this now, because she said his butt smacked so hard, poor thing. But, I was done. He was safe and in my arms and so beautiful. 6:50 AM, bright and early in the morning, on his due date. Right on time! Everyone was shocked at how large he was and they said he was a big boy, maybe 9lbs. I was shocked. He actually ended up being 8lbs 5oz and 21in long.

After he was in my arms, I kept crying and exclaiming, "I DID IT" over and over, it was the craziest feeling. Such an unreal high that I wish I could bottle up and keep forever. Childbirth is no joke, but it is the most amazing experience ever. I also love that I know exactly what song was playing when he made his way into my arms. The music was actually turned off for some reason and I remember laying in the bed earlier thinking, "why is my music off?!?" but I didn't have the energy to ask about it. While I was pushing in the end, my mom asked me if I wanted the music on. I said yes!! It was crazy how that changed everything. As soon as the song started to play I could feel a peace come over me and I was ready. God With Us was the song playing which was so perfect. It has been one of my favorite worship songs for a very long time. God was with us, and I could feel His presence so strongly. This song will definitely mean even more to me now.

So there I was, sitting on a stool and holding my baby boy in my arms. Staring into his eyes and thanking God for another miracle. It's crazy to think back on that night and morning and all that went through my head. I hate to compare Solomon's birth to Asher's birth so often, but its hard not to since it's all I've known. With Solomon I was in the zone, and everything was romanticized in a way. I wanted all the pictures, and to be held by Peter and I needed so much support. Laboring as a mom already was a lot less intimate and sweet in a way, which was such a surprise. My mind was just in a whole new place. This time was so different because all I wanted was to be done so I could have my family together. I wanted both of my boys in my arms and I was so thankful that Solomon was already at the Birth Center.

Peter left to go check on Solomon once Asher was here and as soon as my placenta was delivered I moved over to the bed. My mom got to cut the cord this time since Peter was with Solomon, which I thought was so sweet. Daddy was busy being a daddy and Gigi got to be there for her new boy. Within 20 minutes Solomon was in the room with us. He was so sweet, confused and a little scared about that stupid IV in my arm, but he was happy. And I was so incredibly happy my heart could have burst. I got to nurse Asher pretty quickly after he was born and then everything fell into place and Solomon was running around with toys and reading books. It was such a sweet morning.

After everything was settled I was told that I had to stay at the birthing center for a full 8 hours (instead of the normal 4-6 hours) so my mom left to take Solomon and Peter's mom back to her house. This way he could have some breakfast and play with his cousins who were in town for Christmas. My mom picked up my grandma and some breakfast on her way back to the birth center since I was starving. Peter couldn't even eat the bagel once she got back with the food so he took a hot shower, since we were going to be at the birth center for several more hours, I told Peter to go home and take a nap. He needed to rest and sleep comfortably at home since he was feeling so off. There wasn't really much he could do while we waited to leave anyways, and that way he would be refreshed a bit when he came back to pick us up to leave at 3PM.

The rest of our stay was filled with cuddles, naps, nursing a lot & an amazing Jimmy John's sandwich! By 3PM I was beyond ready to head home and get things settled with our family of four. Asher's birth was a lot faster and a little crazy but it was perfect. He has been the happiest little thing ever since he was born, and anytime he gets fussy, daddy has the magic sway and bounce that can fix it. He really is the perfect addition to our family and I can't imagine life without him now! God is so good, and I can't believe we have two beautiful boys now.

Asher Hackney Eliya

12.29.17 // 8lbs, 5 z, 21in 

preparation.

A little glimpse of Asher's room. I'm so happy with how it's all coming together!

A big part of pregnancy is preparation. The room, all the clothes, what car seat should we depend on, which diapers should we use, picking out a name, what will my birthplan be? So many questions and things to plan ahead for. I love this part of pregnancy since I'm a huge planner and checklist type of person. Thankfully a lot of the questions weren't a problem this time around thanks to it being our second baby. But I have been a little shocked with how different this time around has been.

This pregnancy has been very different than my first. I don't know if it's having a toddler running around, or if it's my body already experiencing this before, but the aches and pains are real. For months, I have felt like I did a couple of weeks before Solomon was born. I can't imagine making it to my due date based on how I feel right now but, we'll have to wait and see when Asher is ready to meet us. One thing that I have been struggling with is preparing for labor. This was a big shock for me. 

As most of you know, my birth story with Solomon (Part 1 & Part 2), was such an amazing experience and I've been dreaming about having another baby and going through birth again since that day. One of the reasons I loved birth so much was how close I felt to God. As a believer, I wanted to put all my hope on Him as I pushed through the changes and my body worked to bring my baby into my arms. I also believed that women's bodies were made to do this incredible task, and as long as everything went as planned, I could do it with His help. I wrote more about how God's peace was surrounding me through the process of giving birth to Solomon here. 

So I was feeling pretty bummed about how my heart was feeling. I think that is why I have been having such a hard time lately, the peace I felt with Solomon had faded some. We have had a hard 5-6 weeks with a cold passing around our house. Add in the way my body is becoming even more uncomfortable, which I didn't think was possible, and you have a very down and worn out momma. We went almost a month without going to church because one of us was sick and we didn't want to spread the germs. A couple of weeks ago we finally made it to church since the runny noses subsided for a couple of days. I was so thrilled! Worshiping at church is one of my favorite things, and I love to prepare for birth by listening to my playlist, which also includes a lot of the songs that we sing at church. As we were singing one of my favorite songs, Great & Mighty King, I could hardly hold back the tears. I've said for a while now that this song is so great for a birth playlist and I could feel God's peace wrapping me up like warm blanket as I sang the words..... 

Your glory fills this place,

we shout unending praise, 

forever hallelujah 

forever hallelujah 

With singing those words I could picture it. Walking around our living room and feeling those contractions that will bring Asher to us. Standing in the shower of the Birthing Center with hot water pouring over my tight stomach. Swaying back and forth on a birthing ball while praying and worshiping the King who gave me this second miracle. All while feeling His glory around me. His glory will fill every place, as long as I let it. 

I now can't wait to experience birth for the second time. I'm ready! I'm excited to rely fully on His presence and glory to bring Asher to us so we can meet him face to face. He is going to be perfect & I thank our loving Father for giving us a second son to add to our family. 

41 weeks ago.

I honestly can't believe that  Solomon has been in our arms for over 41 weeks now. Monday made it a full 41 weeks and he was born at exactly that many weeks. 2:04 am, my life changed forever. I think back on that morning so often and this picture is forever stuck in my mind......

I see it a lot. This moment is my second favorite moment of Solomon's birth story, the first being when I brought him to my chest. The moment in that picture is so special to me because I could feel the Lord so strongly. He was holding me and helping me in that room. There I was swaying on a ball, holding on to the bed, Peter rubbing my back and listening to Seas of Crimson and feeling no pain at all. I kind of left this part out of the birth story for some reason? I don't know why.... It is such a sweet and loving part, but I think I was worried about sounding like a crazy person. Now looking back, I know I lived those sweet moments with Jesus, so that I could share them. 

While I sat on that ball, crying and singing and worshiping our amazing savior, I felt no pain. I could feel a contraction come and go, but there was nothing to hurt me. I felt my face relax, I felt the smile come across my face, and I sank into His goodness. I remember my sweet midwife saying it's okay to be scared when I started crying, since she thought I was crying out of fear. I told her that I wasn't afraid, I was so happy and excited!! As I sat there and prayed, she held my hand and said He is here with you. She was such an angel in that moment. He was in that room and He was in control. 

Now that our sweet boy is getting so big and active, I'm starting to crave pregnancy again. I mean, a deep desire to have another baby. I knew while I was pregnant that I wanted a lot of babies, and even right after giving birth I said I wanted ten more. Then with the newborn phase I couldn't imagine how much sweeter it would be to do everything over and over again with precious new babes. The urge has never really faded and I go through waves of wanting. It just seems that the wave is crashing down on me right now and it will calm again. We do know that now is not time for our family to grow but that doesn't really dull the desire. It's such a sweet season to look back on what God did in that room and what He is doing now in our life with Solomon. I guess it is natural for all of that sweetness to make you want more. 

Solomon means peace and I truly believe that the peace God gave me while in labor was a gift. Such a sweet gift for a first time mom. 41 weeks have flown by.... It feels like these moments were forever ago and I can't believe we have this big boy to chase around the house now. God is so good!! 

the full story....

part one & part two

this picture.

I can't even begin to describe the amount of feelings this photo makes my heart feel. I remember how happy, proud, scared, excited and tired I felt in that moment. Holding my fresh new baby in my arms, ready to leave the birthing center and go home. Knowing that my heart had never felt this kind of love, something so strong and intense that it was some kind of magic. 

As I watch my baby boy grow each day I can't help but want to bottle up all the little baby about him. I've always been a person who looks forward to things. Always thinking about the next stage of life and excited for change, and that still happens now with Solomon. I think things like, I can't wait for him to sit up and play with me or I can't wait to see him take his first step. But at the same time I'm holding onto each little moment that passes by and hoping for time to slow down so I can soak it in a little bit longer. 

There are already so many moments that I miss. I miss being pregnant and rubbing my belly. I miss feeling his little squirms inside and wondering what he would look like. I miss the excitement I felt during the hours of labor and delivery. I miss the feeling of safety when I surrendered to the pain and prepared to see my little love for the first time. I miss those first few minutes of getting to know each other and watching my husband become a father. I miss a lot, but I'm so looking forward to all the memories ahead. 

Looking at this photo also makes my heart hurt. It hurts for those women that long to be a mom with all of their heart. It makes me think back to the time when my heart was preparing for this new world and wondered when God would bring that season into our life. This season is such a humbling experience and I never want to forget that there are those who long for a baby of their own. I'm constantly learning how to become more selfless and realize how much of a mess I am. Solomon helps a lot with that, but he also forgives me so easily with his sweet smiles. 

Most of all, this photo reminds me of God's grace and love. Knowing that the amount of love that I have in my heart doesn't even begin to match the love that Father has for us. His love is like no other and I feel that, it is overwhelming at times, in the sweetest way. During this season of advent I want to dig deeper into that love. I pray that He helps me become a better child of His, a sweeter wife, and a good mother. I pray for our future and hope that He has many more babies for us in the days to come. I pray for this family to further His kingdom. 

Yes, all of that comes to my mind when looking at this photo. So many feelings and so many memories. So much love. 

Solomon's Birth Story // part two.

Here we are again, with part two... 

you can look back at part one from yesterday if you missed it! 

Sunday - September 13, 2015

Once we got home from the office I had a lot of cramping. I was warned about the blood and cramping from the sweep but I was hoping that everything would start happening soon. I ate a piece of toast with melted cheese (seriously, the best thing I had ever eaten at that time, HA!) and some tortilla chips. I then decided to go up stairs and try and nap as much as possible so my body could relax and do it's thing. The contractions were around five minutes apart and getting stronger. I was so tired so I fell asleep easily but every five minutes I would wake up all tense in pain and then I'd crash again before the next wave five minutes later. It was kind of amazing how fast I would go to sleep and how long it felt like I actually slept. If I wasn't looking at my phone I would have thought I was sleeping for 10-15 minutes between contractions, not just five. After around 20 minutes of doing this I decided I had to get up, this was definitely not rest and waking up tense from the pain wasn't helping either. 

During contractions I tried my best to let go completely and let my body do what it should. I didn't want to fight the wave, just simply sink into it and breathe. I went downstairs to Peter and told him that it was getting intense but I was hoping it wasn't false labor from the sweep. They told me that the contractions would need to be consistent for a good hour before thinking it was moving forward. After thirty minutes of contractions that were five minutes apart I had Peter call Caryn. She could hear me moaning through the pain every few minutes and she said it sounded like active labor for sure but to call her back in thirty more minutes if it stayed or picked up and she'd be over. Within the next thirty minutes it definitely picked up and they were coming around 2-3 minutes apart. Peter called her back and she said she was on her way. 

After days of hoping and wondering when it would happen, I was very excited. I was so ready to meet our baby boy and I was hoping that things would move quickly now thanks to the sweep and all the acupuncture appointments I had over the past few months. 

Once Caryn arrived she asked if we called the midwife, Barb was on call still and she lived an hour away. We decided to call her and let her know, she wanted to hear me talk and listen to a few contractions to see what she thought. After talking to her we decided that we would head to the Birthing Center around 6:30PM. It was around 5:30PM when Caryn got to our house. 

During all the labor stages so far she continued to tell me that I wasn't in active labor because I was too verbal. Now that I was in active labor and she saw how I was handling it she told me that she underestimated my pain tolerance and that I would probably be talking throughout the entire process. I laughed and agreed with her, it made me feel so good to know that she understood that. She also told me that I needed to keep talking when I got to the Birthing Center so Barb would understand how I labored also. After we talked to Barb she told Caryn that we might want to wait a bit longer since I was talking a little too easily. HA. Caryn told her that we would be there around 7PM since I was definitely in active labor. 

The next hour went by quickly.... the minutes flew by since the contractions were so close together. I had my music playing and I was walking and swaying around the house. Lots of dancing with Peter, swaying back and forth and him helping me remember to breath. 

At 6:30PM we got in the car and the second ride to the Birthing Center was more intense. I didn't even bother to buckle up and the contractions definitely didn't slow down like before. They were all very active and I had to grip the car door so I could try and relax the rest of my body. Once we arrived Barb was there to check me and see where we were. I knew we had be past a 3 and I was hoping for a 6 since that's what I needed to be admitted. I was a 5. ugh. But Barb said I could walk around in the garden area and use the birthing ball to get things going. She said that typically women go 1cm per hour so she would check me again at 8PM. When we went downstairs to the Birthing Center (the office is upstairs which is where I was checked) my mom was sitting on the couch waiting for us. I was so happy to see her and thankful that she was there. 

I walked around, swayed on the ball, both Peter and Caryn tried to help me relax and breath but I was trying my best to surrender to the pain and relax every muscle in my body. After 45 minutes I had to use the bathroom so I went into the Birthing Center and when I was finished Barb said she was going to admit me. I was so happy!!! I smiled and said get the shower on! 

I walked into the room and started taking off my clothes. I put on my swim top and was ready to get in that hot water. I took turns between the ball in the shower and standing for each contraction. I didn't need to keep switching positions to keep the contractions going anymore but it felt better to keep moving and I thought it would help things progress quickly. The time is really a blur past this point since I didn't pay attention to the clock. 

After about 30-40 minutes in the shower I moved to the bed since Barb said laying on my side would help push things along. They put several pillows between my legs and I rocked back and forth during the contractions. I had around 3-4 contractions per side but wanted to get up after those. 

Once I got on the ball by the edge of the bed I felt like things started to get real... I had my music on and I felt my entire self completely let go. I was singing the worship songs and praying. There were times when I would just start crying and Barb said that it was okay to be scared and nervous but I laughed and told her that I wasn't scared, I was so excited and happy. I was going to meet my baby soon and I knew God was in control. I had prayed for this moment and I knew he would give me strength to do this. He was in the room, I felt His presence so strongly. (even now when I listen to the songs from my playlist I start to cry. I don't know how I'm going to sing those songs at church on Sunday mornings without weeping the entire time, they are so special to me now)

So there I was.... swaying, singing, crying and ready for my baby. I asked when I could get in the tub and Barb said I needed to be an 8 or more because the water could slow things down if I get in too early. I asked to be checked and she said we should wait a bit longer. She was concerned that I was still too talkative. I wanted to laugh... I think I remember Caryn telling her that I will be talking while pushing since I've been verbal the whole time. I'm a talker, and talking through the pain helped me cope with it. Finally after several more contractions she decided to check me. I've never prayed so hard as I did in that moment, laying on that bed waiting to be checked and hoping I was at least an 8. She smiled and said "well, you want some good news?!?" I said YES! She said, "YOU ARE A NINE" 

I then screamed, FILL UP THAT TUB! It took around 30 minutes to fill the tub and I got in at 11:30.... They told Peter that he would probably be born around 3. My mom went to make some coffee for Peter since he was exhausted. He didn't have the endorphin's and hormones racing through his body like I did, and he was working so hard. Never leaving my side and helping me with everything I needed for the past several days. 

Once I got in the water I started to feel the urge to push. The contractions didn't slow down thank God and the water felt great. It honestly wasn't as hot as I thought it would be which was kind of a bummer but it still felt great to be in the water. As I was pushing I felt a lot of pressure and Barb told me to reach down and see if I could feel anything. I told her I felt something hard and slick like a water balloon, she said that was my bag of waters. It was so tight and I wanted to pop it so bad. I asked if I could pop it and they laughed and told me it wasn't a zit. They said as I started to push more it would break. Eventually, it popped and it was the biggest relief. My mom said it was so awesome to watch in the water because it was like a big poof of light pink water. 

Since I am being completely honest with this post I will talk about the worst part of labor right now. The poop. Yes, I said it. It was the most annoying thing and I felt so self conscious about it. You use the same muscles to push out a baby as you do to use the bathroom anyways, so it is only natural, but I couldn't  stand the feeling. That continued for the next several minutes and I think that caused labor to slow down a bit after the water broke. I lost my train of thought and I couldn't concentrate on anything anymore, except for that feeling. 

After the water broke I started to feel the urge to push again and Barb asked me if I could feel his head coming down. I told her I didn't think so... she said do a couple more contractions and we will see what you feel. I tried to pay attention during the pushes to how I felt but I never felt any head movement at all. She then said it would be best for me to get out of the water so she could check me. She then realized that my cervix lip was way too tight and his head couldn't get under it. I then had around 4 contractions while Barb was pushing my cervix back over Solomon's head. Once he was past that he could come down much faster. I'm so thankful that she realized there was a problem instead of letting me push for a long time. I honestly think that if I were in the hospital with an OB I would have pushed for hours and then a csection might have been needed, again, I am so thankful for the midwives that our hospital system has available and the amazing birthing center to use. 

Once the cervix problem was fixed I tried to push on all fours. I know so many women love this position but I did not. Once again, I felt very self conscious about pushing at this point. They asked me if I wanted to try the toilet since it is a sitting squat position and a lot of women like to push there. I said yes and gave it a shot. Then Caryn did the best thing she could have done, she asked me if I wanted to be on the toilet because I was worried about using the bathroom and I said yes. She called me out and that was exactly what I needed to snap out of it and prepare to meet my baby. I got off the toilet and walked back in the room to try the swing. HECK NO, I thought... get me out of here. So then I went back to the bed. 

I was on my back but kind of siting up in a squat position with pillows behind my head so I could spread my legs and push. My mom was on my left side and Caryn was on my right. Barb was helping things move smoothly with hot rags and numbing cream so I could push efficiently. Peter was about to pass out from being so tired by this point so he sat by the bed. He also didn't want to see everything that was going on so I had my women around me to help me push.   I also had a nurse, Julie, and she was so helpful with a mirror so I could see what was happening. I was past the freaking out time and I was ready to see my baby. Just before the mirror came out Barb mentioned all his hair! I was so ready to see my baby boy! During the contractions I tried my best to push three times but I could only get two out. Every single time, I felt the contraction coming, I would take a deep breath, push, breathe in again, push and then I'd be out of energy. The mirror helped a lot with this, it gave me the incentive to push harder and with more force. Once his head started coming out Caryn said that her guess was 2:07 for a birth time. I asked her what time it was and she said 1:50, I told her no way- I couldn't wait that long. He was born at 2:04! 

During that last push I actually got FOUR pushes during one contraction to get his head out. I was beyond ready to hold my baby. When his head came out Barb told me only one more push for his shoulders. I then got to reach down and put my hands under his armpits and pull him out. I brought him toward my chest but realized something was tugging him back. Barb then said to be careful since his cord was short. I was worried and asked if he was okay and they said he was perfect and no need to worry, the cord was fine and he was fine. 

The first few moments with him on my chest were amazing. He was looking right at me and it was like looking at myself. I was so shocked that he looked so much like me. Peter came over and got in the bed with me as soon as he was out and Solomon jerked his head and looked at his daddy when he spoke for the first time and he had this look in his eyes like, "hey, I know you!" It was such a wonderful moment that I will never forget. We were a family of three, and our baby boy was perfect. 

A lot of people have asked me how I handled the pain. I honestly don't know, I mean, it was painful but it was birth. It's supposed to be painful, but it is so worth it. I can't wait to have more babies if the Lord decides to bless us with more. I was wondering how I would feel after a natural birth and I can honestly say I would love to have ten babies right now. It is amazing and I feel so thankful to experience such a wonderful birth. 

A few days later while talking to my aunt about his short cord, she mentioned how long cords are so dangerous and it hit me all off the sudden, God answered my prayer. I was so worried the entire pregnancy that the cord would wrap around his neck and kill him during the 9 months or during delivery, and now knowing how short the cord was, I realized that could have never happened. It wasn't too short, it wasn't too long, it was just perfect and God knew it. He answered so many prayers during this time and during my labor. I'm so thankful for every single thing He did to make this baby mine. He is sovereign and He is my protector. I can't wait for Solomon to know this love one day. That is my biggest prayer now, for him to love the Lord and know him fully. 

He is good, and we are so blessed by this baby boy! 

Solomon's Birth Story // part one.

The birth of our baby boy was a long process thanks to prodromal labor. I had heard of this thanks to the birthing sessions with our doula, Caryn, but I was hoping we wouldn't have this happen. I don't know why, but I thought things would happen quickly so I didn't really prepare for days of labor. Even if it isn't active labor, it is still labor in my book. Contractions happen, your can't sleep and you are hoping that things will progress into active labor - that is still labor. So, here's the story of how Solomon was born.... even all the little details of our prodromal labor. 

Friday - September 11, 2015

I woke up at 1:30AM with strong cramping and needed to use the restroom. I then realized I was sweating like crazy and I changed into tank top and underwear. I got back in bed and tried to start timing any kind of pain. I was really confused at when pain was starting and stopping so I tried my best to sleep.I couldn't get comfortable to sleep and decided to try and rest on the couch downstairs at 2:30AM. I turned on my worship music playlist and tried to sleep, thankfully I slept till 5AM. I did have several wake ups with sharp cramps and I was soaking wet in sweat, like sweat dripping down my chest. I decided to call Caryn, around 6AM and she told me that it was definitely beginning of labor signs and that my body was preparing. She also said to not get upset if things slow down when the sun comes up because that is very common, and if that happens things will most likely kick into high gear at night. 

Ironically, I have been saying since day one that the due date should be 9/12 since my first ultrasound at 7 weeks said that was the measured due date but they didn't change it because my last period due date was 9/7 and the difference was less than a week.

I went up stairs and woke Peter up around 6:30AM and told him the news. I was glad he got a good nights sleep, he got ready for work since nothing was really happening and he works across the street from our neighborhood anyways. Super thankful to have him so close! The rest of the day was relaxed. I ran some errands with my mom and did some cleaning and organizing around the house. My sister in law came to town to meet Solomon so she came over to hang out with us before dinner. Peter and I decided to do a takeout dinner at home, just the two of us so I could relax and have a quiet night. Around 8PM things started getting a little uncomfortable and I felt like things were ramping up again. After trying to lay on the couch for a little while I decided to take a hot shower and wash my hair so I could feel prepared for bed. After drying my hair I crawled in bed around 10PM and turned on my worship music to sleep and I put some lavender oil on my pillow. I could feel the pressure building and my pelvic bone was super sensitive. I told Peter I felt like all my lady parts were splitting open and he reminded me that was a good sign. I kissed him and told him I loved him! 

Saturday - September 12, 2015

I woke up almost every hour all night with cramping and had to use the bathroom frequently. I was hoping I would lose my plug at some point but no luck. I know not every one loses it but I was really hoping I would since that is usually a sign that things are turning toward active labor. Finally, at 5AM I decided to wake up and go downstairs. I had the feeling that I needed to stand up and I was well rested. I got some ice water and a fig bar and stood at the kitchen island swaying back and forth while I tried to eat. I instantly felt nauseous after the first bite but the water helped. It was also weird that when I finally woke up I realized my hair was clean and washed and I had totally forgotten about my shower the night before. It felt like everything from yesterday happened a week ago. Shortly after I got up I had a strong contraction and decided to start timing them on the next one to see if there was a pattern. I was trying not to get too excited and slow things down, so I decided to go sit on my ball and roll back and forth. 

I sat in the living room rocking on my ball and praying out loud. It was calming to hear my voice and know that baby boy could hear it also. I told him I was excited to meet him and for him to come soon. I thanked God for this healthy pregnancy and asked for His strength and protection during the hours ahead. I was ready! Now just waiting for things to start happening faster. As I started to time the contractions I turned on my worship music playlist that I had put together and while I was in my third contraction the song Oceans by Hillsong United came on and the words hit me so hard. I had already thought of the contractions as an ocean of waves that I would need to swim through and breathe deeply until the wave crashed over me and the contraction was finished. Then the words "You've never failed, and You won't start now" came right after the contraction was finished and I sang the words out loud. I knew it was true and I knew that God would give me the strength to endure each wave ahead and I would end up with my baby boy on my chest! 

After about an hour of timing the contractions I realized the were normally around 5-6 min apart and they were lasting around 45 seconds to 1 minute. I called Caryn and told her the news. She sweetly deflated my tires a little bit and said that I was way too vocal for my body to be in full on labor at this point which is totally normal for first time moms. (prodromal labor) She also told me to just ignore it and relax, eat some food and try and go back to sleep, stop timing everything and I would know when things were happening and my body was on board. I was a little bummed but I knew that she was right and I was thankful that I had 100% trust in her. 

After trying to sleep in bed for a little while and snuggle with Peter we decided to get up and go down stairs for some coffee and French toast. Peter makes French toast most weekends but it was seriously the best I've ever had that morning. I had several contractions while sitting at the kitchen table and I had to put my fork down and stop talking so I could breath through the pressure. They were lasting about a minute still and the strength of each one was going back and forth, some strong and some just annoying and uncomfortable.

We relaxed and talked to some family till around 10AM and I wanted to take a walk. The weather was amazing and cool, like a true fall morning. I thought it was perfect to welcome our boy. The walk was good and I felt like it helped a lot but the contractions were still off and on but they seemed longer. I thought this might be a good point to lay down and try and nap for some extra energy in case things start progressing. I slept for about an hour and a half and Peter said I didn't seem restless at all. Around 11:30AM I woke up with a really strong and long contraction. I did feel rested which was nice but the contractions weren't building so I decided to take it easy and rest on the couch. 

After a little while we went to eat lunch at Peter's mom's house since his sister was still in town. It was the same as breakfast, swaying back and forth constantly and eating between contractions. They were very sporadic and I knew since I still wanted food and was talking easily they weren't anything to get excited about yet. We left lunch around 2:45PM and went to Earthfare to do some grocery shopping before baby. I was having a lot of contractions while I pushed the cart around the store, stopping and swaying and breathing through each of them while in the store. After our shopping trip I came home and decided a nap would be good. I felt tired and I was hoping things would progress as the night became closer so I knew I needed rest. All my lady parts were feeling really sore again like the night before, almost like I could feel things spreading and opening. Not sure if that is what dilation feels like but I was hoping for the best. 

I woke up from the nap around 6PM and felt hungry but rested, even if it was only an hour of sleep. The contractions seemed longer and deeper but they didn't seem closer together yet. Peter also took a nap on the couch so I was glad he got some rest also. He made me a toasted sandwich and I ate that with some tortilla chips and decided to take a walk and see if I could get things rolling around 6:30PM. Contractions quickly got uncomfortable and I was feeling a lot of pressure, that continued for several hours and after realizing any time I sat still they would slow down to 7 or more minutes between contractions so we called Caryn to ask what to do. She told Peter that I need to rest and try and sleep even if that means contractions will slow down and she would bet I'd wake up in an hour or two with active labor. My body just wasn't ready for the real thing yet. We propped some pillows up on the couch behind my head and under my knees so I could try and sleep in a sitting position to take some pressure off my hips, I also ate an apple with peanut butter. It was around 10PM at that time.

Sunday - September 13, 2015

Around 1:30AM we called Caryn to come over. I felt confused and unsure of what was going on and I thought I'd feel better just having her around to tell me what I needed to do. She arrived and told me that I was definitely not in active labor but that she'd stay and see how things were going for a while. Since this was my first time with this experience I just felt more comfortable having her there to tell me what I should do. We also called the midwives to give whoever was on call a heads up that we might be there sometime in the near future. During the next several hours I felt the contractions going from simple contractions to active contractions that actually pushed the baby down, I was thankful once I could tell the difference so I knew what to look for. Around 4AM Caryn decided to head home and told me to give her a call if things start progressing. I went to bed and tried to get some sleep since things always slowed down if I decided to rest. 

I slept for a couple of hours and then told my mom to come over that morning around 6:45 so Peter could have some help. Around the same time I had the urge to go to the bathroom and I lost my plug. It was not what I expected but I was pretty sure that I had lost it all. I was hoping this was a sign that things were going to speed up. 

During that morning things continued like the night before... If I kept moving the contractions would keep up but if I sat down or stayed in the same position for too long they would slow down to 7-10 min. Caryn came back over during the morning time and tried to help push things along with some advice on positions but she still thought I should be resting and waiting for my body to take over. She left around 11 while I was napping. I realized that things would also slow down when she came over which surprised me. I think I felt like I had to perform and prove that I was in labor which is funny now as I look back. I wish I would have taken her advice and just ignored everything until I couldn't and then let the active labor take over. 

Peter and I decided that we wanted to take a trip to the midwife office so I could be checked and also sweep my membranes. I had an appointment the next day to do both of those things since Monday was my 41 week mark, so I thought I might as well do it now in hopes that it would speed things along and our baby would be in our arms by Monday! The ride to the office was interesting but not terrible since the contractions slowed down while I was sitting. It took us around 20 minutes to get there and I had three contractions during that time. One of them was super strong and I had to unbuckle and move to the edge of the seat to find a comfortable position. I felt like he was trying to come out but now I laugh thinking about the difference in those contractions and the ones that actually brought him out. 

Once we got to the office I was so happy to get checked and I was hoping to be dilated to anything past one. That was my biggest fear because I was afraid everything that had been happening for the past few days was actually nothing at all. Barb, the midwife, was pleasantly surprised that I was at a three - my plug was gone (so glad that was exactly what happened earlier, after all) - I was fully effaced - and Solomon was a zero station. All really good news and I was so happy I could almost jump off the table!! Barb then asked me if I wanted to sweep my membranes and told me that it could cause the contractions to become stronger and irregular. I felt that it would help push me over the edge and really help with starting active labor. After days of waiting for active labor and knowing that I would be back in the office the next morning to sweep my membranes anyways, I knew I wanted to do it! It honestly didn't hurt that bad and I was praying things would pick up! When we got home I ate some food and tried to lay down for a nap so my body could relax and the membrane sweep could do its job. I was hopeful and praying the whole time!!!! 

& that is where I will stop, sorry... Such a tease, I know! But, things get interesting next. 

Read on for PART TWO.