creating a ready heart.

I am really enjoying the bible study that I mentioned a few days ago so much! #areadyheart is exactly what I needed to get out of my funk. Yes… I said it, a funk. I’m not going to lie to you; I have found myself in a “mehh, I don’t feel like reading my bible today” kind of mood recently. Of course this doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel terrible. I’ve prayed about it and tried to find a drive to open that big book by my bed everyday but it always ends up feeling pointless. So I decided to wait. Wait till I feel that need again. Wait for something to come along and wake me up, forcing me to read those very important words. Then I found this study and it struck a chord with me.

On Monday I enjoyed reading Ephesians 5:15-32….

Submissive. That word that makes so many women (and men) uncomfortable. I’ve honestly never had a problem when thinking about becoming a submissive wife. The Lord asks this of us and we are supposed to become a submissive wife to grow closer to our husband and love him, mirroring what Christ does with the church. While reading these verses I started to feel pride within myself and then I realized how hypocritical I was acting.

Submissive can also mean obey. Just as we are called to obey God and what have I been doing for the past several weeks?

Have I been obeying His call to live within His word? Nope.

Have I listened to my head instead of my heart when I climbed in bed at night and turned away from the bible on my night stand? Yup.

I was not obeying at all. I simply decided to wait. Becoming lazy without any drive and then choose to pick up where I left off when I felt ready.

Once I realized the way I treated my quiet time with the Lord and my relationship with Him I was ashamed. I couldn’t help but wonder about my future as a submissive wife. I know there will be times when I won't agree with Peter or I won't understand his reasoning for a decision but instead of becoming lazy in our relationship I will need to stay active. I will have to stay engaged through anything because that is what I’ve been called to do as his wife. I want our marriage to represent the relationship that Christ has with the church and through submission, trust & love I know we will find that. That is my prayer this week, that every single day I spend in this study God will peel back a layer of myself and show me where I can improve as a woman and as a future wife. To do what he has called me to do.