Preparing for this baby boy has been an adventure for sure. A mix of feelings and emotions, confusion on how I should feel, and a lot of advice from friends and family. I thought it would be nice to sit down and write one last letter to our sweet boy. In this time of waiting and preparation, I know one thing to be true, I am so ready to meet this boy! Making it to week 40 is bitter sweet but when I woke up this morning I felt thankful, and that is all I can ask for!
September 5, 2015
The big day is coming up soon! The day that you are supposed to be in my arms. I know there is a possibility you won't be ready but I'm hoping you will want to join our little world early, or on time. But, there's a chance you will still be comfy in my tummy. Your bony little feet kicking my right side and your sweet little butt poking out my left side. I would be so happy if you joined us soon, but I know you will come when you are ready.
Patience is a serious thing. I'm trying to find it in everything I do lately and you are teaching me in so many ways. I'm learning that I do not have control of this life, and that our heavenly Father has full control. I pray that you will realize this one day. That you will place all your life in His hands & you will know His overwhelming love and share it with others.
I've also been reminded of how suffering is a gift from the Lord. He gives us hard times to bring us closer to him, to truly let go of ourselves and give in to His love and healing. I truly believe that all these reminders are preparing me for that time when I meet you. If things go according to our plan, I will have some suffering for sure, but you will be our gift at the end. You are a gift straight from God and we are so thankful for it. I pray that I can focus on that end goal, giving everything I am to bring you closer to me. Through every contraction, only focusing on you and knowing that God made my body so that I could have you. You will be mine and I will always be yours.
The past week has been interesting. I've had those moments of excitement when I thought you were on your way & then I always have the realization that you are not. I continue to go back and forth with my feelings, from impatient and beyond ready, to thankful for this time and finding peace in the fact that you will come when you are ready. It is a strange place to be, but in the end, I know you will come when you are ready.
Any day now, and we will love you every day going forward.