Hello blog, and all those people who still read this thing. Even after my hiatus of not writing for weeks. It has been a BUSY month so far, and I honestly haven't had the energy to sit down and write or share anything here because of it. Things have been SO GOOD and I wanted to share a little bit about this year, since we are almost finished with 2018, somehow?!?
2018 has been a weird one for me. Definitely a roller coaster of emotions, which I was not expecting. Looking back now I can see the wonderful highs and the very strange lows.....
January - We have a new baby and I fall madly in love with him, but I also miss my sweet toddler so much it hurts. I remember rocking Asher to sleep at night and crying because I wanted to be with Solomon. It was so surprising how alone I felt in the first few weeks as a mother of two. I am so thankful for a hands on hubby who took over a lot of the "Solomon duties", but that just made me miss them both so much, since I was always busy in the newborn baby blur.
February - I was figuring out the whole world of mothering two little boys and trying my best to find my new normal. I honestly loved every second of it and worked really hard to have one on one time with Solomon as often as possible while Asher was sleeping. Watching Solomon become a big brother and love Asher was also the best thing ever!!
March - Asher was getting SO BIG and I was so thankful that he was feeding well and sleeping well, but I couldn't figure out why I was still in so much pain while nursing him, even after three months. Then I saw the spots in his mouth.... thrush. The dreaded, awful, thrush. Thankfully he was better very quickly, but it took me a good three weeks to get over it.
April - We head to Cancun for a MUCH NEEDED vacation where I got to relax and nurse a baby in the shade on the beach and eat way too much amazing food while Peter chased Solomon around the entire time. HA! It was a good week, and I felt like it really helped me recharge after the thrush experience.
May & June - All the summer feels were strong and I had so much fun creating memories during the week with my two boys, and then our family memories on the weekends with daddy. Life was warm and so good!!
July - My mom got to travel to FL with us for Peter's work trip and it was a ton of fun. We had a great time with both of the boys and were happy to come home and start the potty training process for Solomon since he was showing all the signs. He seemed ready except for how he would say that the potty would hurt him and he was afraid to use it. If only I would have listened to him. July 7th was the first day of "training" and he was a rock star with peeing. Not even one accident, he totally got it. No.1 was so easy, but No.2 was the scariest thing he had ever faced. For a boy that didn't have much fear about anything, I think it was crippling for him. He didn't want to go at all, not even in a diaper, he just stopped going completely until he couldn't hold it any longer, which only added to the fear.
It's strange how my life became consumed with this whole situation. I said to several people that I don't think I've ever had postpartum depression, but I really feel I might have post-potty depression. It was a joke I would say here and there, but deep down, I knew it was true. Somehow, this whole potty fiasco triggered so many feelings in me. I didn't like not being in control, because if there is ANYTHING you can't control, it is your child's bowel movements. Because of how uncomfortable Solomon was, he became another child. Sad all the time, not wanting to play, clingy and crying, tired, moody, and all these things made me incredibly moody in return. Looking back now, I'm sure that my reactions didn't help his fear of the bathroom.
Flash forward to December and so many things in our daily life have just clicked. I've completely given up the control to God alone. I can't even tell you how many heart to heart talks I'e had with my maker about making my child poop. It's weird. But, He knows my heart, and He made Solomon exactly the way he is, even with this fear. I know that He is trying to teach me something throughout the past six months. Teaching me how to release my expectations and allowing myself to find happiness in Him, even when our life isn't happy at the moment.
We have also added some daily vitamins to our routine, and regular trips to the chiropractor for me and Solomon, which I think has been a HUGE game changer. We are both drinking
Ningxia Red everyday, then Solomon is taking the
Kidscents MightyPro and I'm taking the
Super B tablets everyday. I 100% believe that this has been a HUGE game changer for my emotional support every day. It is also helping us both fight the nasty germs floating around during this time of year. I've always loved Young Living, but now I can truly say that I see the result of daily consistent use. I start my day with diffusing uplifting oils, I'm taking care of my mind and body, and I'm also getting better rest (even with several wake-ups from Asher) thanks to defusing calming oils at night. My love has now turned to necessity, and I'm so thankful for the changes I have seen because of it.
It has definitely been a whirlwind of a year, but I'm so thankful that we can end it on a happy note. We still aren't over our battle of potty training, but it is significantly better and I know it will continue to get better with time. It has been a big part of 2018, but I'm thankful for what I have learned because of it. I have seen parts of Solomon's personality that I didn't know were there yet, and it has been a gift to work through that with him. I'm praying that this experience will create a stronger trust for us as a family, trusting in each other, and trusting in a God that has full control. Who knew that potty training could teach you so much, right?!? HA!
I do know one thing though, I am so incredibly thankful for the people that God has placed in my life. The husband that is always the steady and faithful hand I need to hold on to. The children that Christ has entrusted to us. The mother that is always a phone call away when I need to vent or cry. The friends that have listened to me talk about poop way more than they care to, but never tell me to shut up. All of these things are such a HUGE gift, and I'm so thankful. God is so good, and He loves His children so much.
& I've decided that Asher will just potty train himself when he is ready!
