We all think we're going to be great.

And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met.

But sometimes, our expectations sell us short.
Sometimes, the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected.

You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations,
because the expected is just what keeps us steady.
standing.
still.

The expected is just the beginning.

The unpexpected is what changes our lives.

I’m a sucker for a good Grey’s Anatomy quote and that is one of my favorites. It is so true. We can expect whatever we want in life but the unexpected are the ones that make the mark in our lives. I agree with this quote above because I think that our expectations only create limits. I like to think that the unexpected is where God loves to surprise us with the real gift of His love. Continuing with my three topic system, I want to explain how I think the unexpected can be even better than our expectations!

the most wonderful planner EVER, my Erin Condren planner!

1// surprises are exciting

When we try to control the outcome of our plans we are only selling ourselves short. In my personal experience when I tried to make something happen that I knew deep down was not in my control, I was always left feeling stressed and worried. Every time I realize that I am not in control {HE is}, I eventually take a step back and then realize His plan is even more beautiful. I don't know why I'm continually surprised but it is always a wonderful surprise. This doesn't mean you will always get what you think you want but you will get what you need. Yes, just like the song... If you try sometimes, try meaning give it up to HIM, then you will always get what you need.

2// you can only plan so much

I am a planner. I like to write things down and know what is going on far in advance. If you looked in my planner then you would see blog posts that I am planning to write at the end of 2014. Yes, I am that kind of planner. Plans are great but I personally don't like to make plans in stone. I prefer the laid back type of planning without stressing to make the plans absolutely happen. White out pens are my friend. Life is way too short to plan every second, you will only miss the little things if you constantly think in the future. Being present in the NOW is the key to not living a life based on expectations.

3// prayer
This is the most important part about any expectations I've ever had. When I think I deserve something or I'm working hard for a goal I can always find the happiness I'm looking for when I sit down and talk to God about it. I've always been left feeling empty after those times that I've been selfish with my time and my efforts for something I thought I could create on my own. BUT when I take the time to lay everything at His feet, everything changes. I find peace. His perfect peace washes over me and I realize that everything is in His hands.

Life is just a big ball of events, some expected but most are unexpected & it always comes down to how you handle those unexpected surprises. The good, the bad, the crazy... all of it is in His plan and that makes me feel safe! 

Check out my past Total Truth posts below... 

Marriage // Fashion

Social Media // Friendship

Modesty // Parenting & Kids

Domestic // Health

Total Truth // Health

{just for the record... the waffle above is my homemade-whole wheat waffles, full of super healthy things and organic strawberries with natural, organic syrup!}

Today's Total Truth Thursday is an open topic which means I can choose whatever I want to talk about. This one was a lot harder to decide than the last open topic (friendship), but with some help from the Husband, I decided to talk about Health. Health is something that is very important to me, although that was not always the case. I used to eat very bad food (aka, McDonalds or Taco Bell) and almost never exercised. This all began to change five years ago when I met Peter. I used to say he was a “food snob” and couldn’t believe that he had never (EVER) eaten at Taco Bell but then I started to realize that he had justified reasons for the things he would eat & the things he would not eat.

Fast forward to October 2012. I was almost engaged and pretty much blind to how overweight I was. It didn't really hit me until February 2013, while I was celebrating my 26th birthday. I then realized that I was extremely unhappy with my health. I had yo-yoed with my weight during the past few years and I was ready to finally make a change. I’ll be honest and admit that most of my drive to change came from my future wedding date. I wanted to look my best, but I also wanted to feel my best.

The picture above still shocks me. At the time when I started this new journey of a healthier lifestyle, I knew I needed to finally step on a scale and figure out what I needed to do. For my age and height I weighed 25 pounds over the TOP of the healthy limit. After losing that 25 pounds over the next seven months I felt like a new person. Today I still fluctuate between 25-30 pounds less than those early months in 2013. It is such a great accomplishment but I would still like to get down in the average healthy limit instead of hanging out at the top of it. I'd like to share the three things that I changed in my life to make this goal a lot easier, and what I plan to do to keep it up!  

1// find a workout that works best for you

When I first started on this journey I joined the BEACHBODY community and absolutely loved it! They have great workout videos, tasty Shakeology drinks, and amazing accountability groups. At the time I was working out almost every day with my mom and we would make sure we pushed each other which was very helpful. 

I’m so thankful for Beachbody and all the results that I received from those workouts but now that I am married I haven’t been able to keep up with them. For the past six months I have struggled with making time to workout. Recently, I realized that I needed to make time during my workday. Thankfully with the gym that we have in my office building I have that ability. I just recently signed up and will spend my lunch hour working out. I'm excited to see the changes in the next few months as I tone up and build my strength again.  

2// seriously consider everything you eat

My life changed drastically when I stopped thinking about my diet as a “diet” and started to see it as a life change. It is okay to splurge and enjoy a burger and fries from a great restaurant but 80% of the time I try my best to only eat healthy, clean foods. I can’t tell you the last time I pulled through a McDonalds or Taco Bell and I honestly like it that way. I like to fill my stomach with food that is going to give me energy and make me healthier, not something that will weigh me down and make me regret my decision. This does not mean that I don’t enjoy the foods I eat, I've just learned what is better for me, and I enjoy them even more now. Keeping healthy snacks near by are also a big change that I have made. I snack on a Larabar, a handful of raw almonds or a piece of fruit instead of snacks that are full of carbs and fat. 
But, seriously… I still need Mexican food at least once a week. That will never change! 

3// don't concentrate on the scale

When you are getting started on this journey you always look at the scale first. You have to so you can know your results, but once you achieve your goal weight it is no longer the biggest factor. Since my wedding day I have fluctuated around five pounds which I think is normal. You are never going to be the same weight every day. What I try and pay more attention to is my clothing and how they are fitting. I have my “skinny pants” that I was not able to wear for almost eight years but in the past year that has changed, they fit now! Whenever I put those pants on and they feel a little snug I know to reevaluate the situation and take a closer look at what I am doing to stay active and what I have been eating. Within a few days of being more careful about what I consume, things are back to normal and my pants are happy, which makes me happy. So, check the scale – but don’t let it determine everything. If your body is happy and you feel healthy then that number you see is usually going to line up with how you feel.   

Of course I am no expert. I am not a doctor. I can only speak from my own experiences and speak truthfully about how I perceive a healthy life. This post is not sponsored by any of the products I mentioned above BUT if you are interested I would gladly point you to my friend, Megan. She is a true inspiration and her passion in life is staying healthy for her family and herself which is my main goal as well.

Check out my past Total Truth posts below... 

Marriage // Fashion

Social Media // Friendship

Modesty // Parenting & Kids

Domestic

Total Truth // Domestic

Today’s topic for Total Truth Thursday is something that I've never been that great at. Before marriage I went through phases when I liked to cook or bake but it never lasted. I would only do my laundry when I absolutely had to {i.e. I have no clothing!}. My room was normally a mess. At my core, I am not a domestic person. After the proposal I started to think about my future as a wife and everything that I would need to do in our future home. I suddenly felt like super woman who could conquer everything. But now, after the past six months of wedded bliss, reality has set in and I have a new perspective. Here are three things that I have learned about this domestic life, as a newly wedded wife. 
You are welcome for the rhymes. 

1// it is okay to ask for help

We were blessed to have a couple from our church that has been married 10+ years guide us through our premarital counseling. At one point during a meeting I actually remember telling them, “I want to do all the house chores on my own so when we have kids it won’t be that hard. If I learn to do it now then I will be able to do it later.” HAHAHAHA! Now I understand why they looked at my like I was a lunatic. You can’t do everything on your own. Sometimes you need help, and I have learned that asking for help doesn’t make you less qualified. We are a team and when we work together for a common goal then our daily life will flow so much better.

2// find a routine

Speaking of help, from day one I knew that I would be doing all the laundry in our house. I honestly don’t mind doing it and this is something that Peter does not want to do, so I’m okay with it. I can’t handle vacuuming our house with my lower back problems, so Peter completes this task in our house. Once again, we are a team. He has never been a fan of doing laundry. I can’t vacuum. We work together and we make it work well. I’ve also made it known that I loathe matching socks, so after I’m finished folding and putting away the laundry, Peter has the fun chore of matching those little suckers. Finding a routine that works for you and your home makes those annoying chores so much easier.

3// make a plan

No one is going to have a house that always looks like a magazine full of picture perfect rooms and delicious meals on the table. It can happen, but it won’t happen 24/7. I try my best to make plans for our meals and our cleaning schedule. On Sundays I think about the week ahead and figure out when I will have time to do what is needed. If there is a party next weekend I will make sure I have time to do a little bit every day to have the plans ready in time. This doesn’t always work, but majority of the time everything is ready without much stress involved. Planning ahead is the best thing I can do to make our home have a happy flow. 

I've also shared our Cleaning Schedule, and talked a little bit more about what works best in our home, HERE. 

On last Thursday my mom asked me what my plans were for the night. I then rattled off my list of things to do - put the baked ziti in the oven to take to a friend on bed-rest, while that is cooking I will go water the garden, and then I have to change the food and water in the chicken coop, then I will throw some towels in the washer so I can put them in the dryer when I get back from taking the meal. Her response was, "You're so domestic!!", and I died laughing. I went on to tell her that the next Total Truth Thursday topic was about being domestic and she followed up with, "Just say, doing all the things when you lived at home that you hated but now you enjoy...just like your mom said would happen." HA! It is true... I didn't think I would enjoy all these things but I do. I do it for my husband, I do it for myself & I do it for our home. Plus, the "Good job, babe" that I get from my sweet hubby means the world to me!

Check out my past Total Truth posts below...

Marriage // Fashion

Social Media // Friendship

Modesty // Parenting & Kids

Total Truth // Parenting and Kids

Since I am not a mother yet I thought I would step away from the three topic design I’ve been using for this Total Truth challenge. Today I’m going to open my heart and freely share it on this topic. This has been something that I’ve wanted to write about for a while now but I didn’t know if the time was right. I wrote most of this below almost four months ago and then saved it as a draft for a later time. When I saw that Kids/Parenting was one of the topics I knew that God was pushing me to finally dig this up and share it. 

{my favorite book from when I was a kid}

If I were completely honest I would tell you that I have been fighting some serious "baby fever" ever since Peter put that wedding band on my finger. One thing I’ve always wanted to be is a Mommy. Even when I was a little girl I would beg my cousins to play doctor with me so I could put a baby doll under my shirt, and when they would pull out the little girl or boy, I would instantly become a mom. I would hold the baby and rock it, feed it with a pretend bottle and wrap it up in a blanket. I absolutely loved it.

Now that we are in this new season of life and enjoying marriage, people often ask when we will be starting a family. That is such a tough question.

When is the right time?

Time is a funny thing. If someone would have told me two years ago that I would be married to Peter and writing about starting a family I probably would have passed out. Two years ago the Lord was preparing my heart and stirring Peter’s heart. We were at a crossroads in our relationship and we were bravely crossing it together, with the Lord’s guidance. He was connecting the pieces for both of us, so we could become one as husband and wife.

Now that we are in this oneness, I sometimes wonder what to do with it. He calls us to multiply and further His kingdom with our family. That is something that I feel in my heart is so right and I want to be worthy of that. At times I want to start down that path, sprinting full force and then like a light switch being turned off, I realize that I am so content and happy enjoying married life, with just the two of us. I also know that once baby comes along one day it will never be "just the two of us" again and that is something that I don't want to give up yet.

That confusion always points me toward prayer. I pray that we use this time wisely so we are prepared when that new season arrives. Not just flowing through this season but soaking it in. Learning from each other and listening for His commands. There are times when I sit in the silence and pray for our future babies. Pray for their health and for their hearts. I pray that we will have the strength and knowledge to lead them with a Godly love, full of grace. I pray that we point them toward Christ every day with our words and our actions.

Out of the many things I have learned about the way God works, His control is my most favorite thing. It makes me feel safe and loved. We can try and master our plans and design our future, but in the end it is all His. So for now I will be thankful. I will pray that I yearn for a closer relationship to my Maker every day. I will love my husband and pray that I will be a great helper for him, so that he can lead our family well. I will prepare my heart for the next season of life, whatever that may be, because I know that He is at the center of it no matter what.

you can check out my other Total Truth Thursday posts below!

Marriage // Fashion

Social Media // Friendship

Modesty

Total Truth // Modesty

I’m not going to lie, when I saw that we had to share our heart about Modesty I didn't really know where to start, so I went to the definition. There were three different ways that the work modesty can be used and I have been sharing three topics on all of my Total Truth Thursday posts so that really helped a lot! I thought about each definition and tried to relate it to my life. What they all mean to me and how I think about modesty on a daily basis. 

 

1// assessment

Being a modest person with your life and your achievements is such a wonderful quality to have. One of my biggest pet peeves in people is when someone is boastful. I prefer to look at everything in my life as a blessing and when you think about it in that way, you can't help but have a sense of modesty. Acting like you are entitled to something is such a nasty habit. When you are truly thankful for something you can share it more openly and freely which is a beautiful thing.

2// amount

I'm a sucker for a sale and it causes me sincere pain to buy anything at the full price because I feel that one of the best ways to show your modesty is in your purchases and lifestyle. Yes, I may have a beautiful Coach purse but you may not know that it was the first (and probably last) Coach purse that I ever purchased. I bought it with a gift card and at a special 70% off price + free shipping. I don't think badly on anyone that pays full price for a purse, shoes, clothing, etc., but I just know that is something that I can't do personally. It may seem cheap but I prefer to call it frugal or thrifty! 

3//appearance

This is something that unfortunately, I have not always practiced, but the way that you carry yourself and dress is a huge way to express modesty. In my younger years I would enjoy tinier pieces of clothing, but lately in my "older" years and these recent months as a wife I seriously consider what I choose to wear. This does not mean that I won't wear a pair of shorts in the summer or wear a bikini by the pool. I believe that 90% of modesty is how you carry yourself. If you carry yourself with grace then that is the most important factor.

All of those points aren’t life changing. I don’t constantly think about being modest, but I can honestly say that it has thankfully been branded into who I am by my family. I was raised in a modest family and with modest friends so I count that as a huge blessing. The little things in life are what make me happy and I personally love it that way.

you can check out my other Total Truth Thursday posts below!

Marriage // Fashion

Social Media // Friendship

Total Truth // Friendship

Today's Total Truth Thursday is an open subject and I am so excited to share a little bit about one of the most important parts of my life. Friendship is so special to me and the ladies that the Lord has placed in my life are such a blessing and I honestly don’t know what I would do without them sometimes. I do not have biological sisters so for most of my teenage life and now adult life I have depended on my girlfriends for a lot of support. They have always been here for me and I hope to always be there for them in return. During the past 10+ years I have learned a lot about friendship and thought I’d be open and honest for today’s Total Truth Thursday and share some of what I have learned.

1// be intentional 

Being intentional with your friendships is one of the most important things you can do. Making sure they feel important in your life whether it is a simple text to say hello and let them know you are thinking about them or even sending them a simple card to say thank you for being a great friend (just for the record, I do not do this often enough!) will make them feel significant. Another way that I like to be purposeful with my friendships is to know what their love language is. Just like you want to feel loved in your own special way, so do your friends and that can make all the difference. Some may want words of encouragement and another may want a hug. Everyone is different and when you know what makes that person feel appreciated and loved then you will know how to love them better.

2// take a survey

This may seem a little odd but when I was preparing for this blog post I asked my three best friends what was the best part about being my friend. I didn’t do this to boost my ego but to understand what I do to make our friendship work. I have never asked that question before and it really helped me understand what I should keep doing to strengthen my friendship with each individual person. I am very lucky to have three best friends that all get along and love each other also but I think it is important to look at each friendship I have as an individual piece. We may blend together well which is a huge blessing but I want to make sure I am being the best friend I can to each person.

3// say no to drama

During my past years of friendships I have learned that a friendship with a lot of drama is not going to last very long. When you are open and honest with your friends and they are open and honest back, you are given a gift of transparency that can help you grow deeper roots within that friendship. This doesn’t mean that you all have to be the same person or that you will agree about everything. You aren’t going to find someone exactly like you, besides… how boring would that be? You will find others in different seasons of life and different personalities but that is such a fun part of friendship. It is in those types of relationships that you learn the most. You learn how to be there for one another, how to lift each other up and you also learn how to pray for each other. Praying for your friendship, their life and their walk with God. No drama, just friendship that is full of grace and love.

Friendship is such a gift and I thank God every chance I get for the three women I have in my life. I love you all so, so much and thank you for teaching me what friendship is all about.

You can check out my past Total Truth Thursday posts below!

Marriage // Fashion

Social Media

Total Truth // Social Media

As a blogger I think it is only normal to be a big fan of social media since most of everything we do is somehow related to it. I share my posts on my Facebook page, I share photos almost every day on Instagram and I've even fallen in love with bloglovin recently so I can’t really knock it. I do think we as a culture can abuse the use of social media but for the most part I am thankful for it. Here are three facts that I have learned in the past several years about all of this social media mumbo-jumbo.

1// it can give you some amazing friendships if you let it

I have been blessed by so many of the relationships that have been created because of this blog and because of Instagram. One of the best parts about sharing my life here is the way people can relate to my little world simply by reading what I write. I also know that I have learned so much from other bloggers and I’m very thankful for the many women that decide to share their life in this “blogosphere” that we have all created. Even for people that do not blog themselves but simply follow along with your life make an impact. Recently I was talking to an acquaintance that I normally didn't speak to that often but when I saw her she smiled and gave me a hug and said “I love following you on Instagram and reading your blog!”. That is a big deal! That is why I love spending time on this space. I love the relationships that it can create.

2// don’t let it consume you

I’m going to be completely honest and admit this is my main problem. Peter wants to take my phone and hide it most of the time. It makes me feel terrible. I know that it is an addiction. There are times when I grab my phone and when I mean to send a text message I click the Instagram icon without even realizing it. Habits are formed so easily and there are very few red lights that don’t also include a little IG action in my car to pass the time. So, this is my apology to my sweet Husband, I promise I will try harder to “unplug” and enjoy my nights with you instead!

3// keeping your priorities straight are important

There can be a lot of filth in the world of Social Media and you can get sucked into that so easily. I make a point to follow those who have the same heartbeat as mine. With hashtags like #socality that are pointing their fame toward God and His kingdom makes me so happy inside. I love to see His presence in this Social Media world and I also try my best to always point toward Him also. I want everything I share to glorify Him. We live in a fallen world where it is so easy to fall with it but I am thankful for a Savior that redeems and uses our brokenness to bring light to Him.

So, with all this being said, if you want to find me in the Social Media world you can locate me at all the places below! 

instagram // pinterest // facebook // bloglovin

You can check out my other Total Truth Thursdays posts below if you'd like!

Marriage // Fashion

Total Truth // Fashion

I love to see fashion on TV, magazines, and blogs but when it comes to my own fashion I’m a little lost to explain it. I like so many different kinds of styles and when I look in my closet I see a wide assortment of clothing. Staying with my idea of sharing three points on the topic each week here are a few things that I know about fashion in my life right now.

1// stripes
They are an obsession for me. I didn’t realize this until I found a super cute shirt at Old Navy and instantly had to have it. I remember saying to myself, I don't have many striped shirts, I need this! and then I got home and realized my new shirt was now my fourth stripe shirt in my closet. How does this happen? I do love all kinds of stripes but my need for black and white striped clothing takes everything to a new level. I recently had on a short sleeve, black and white peplum top for a party with some skinny jeans and heels but once I realized it was a bit cooler than I thought it was going to be I changed to a quarter length black and white striped shirt instead {the one pictured above}. I then asked Peter, “is this striped shirt okay or should I wear the one I had on before?” his response was, “you changed?” Yes, I know he is a man but still.

Now that I have realized this weakness of mine I’m no longer allowing myself to buy any striped shirts. Or at least black and white ones. I do however need some striped dresses. A maxi dress to be exact. Or a few.

2// nails
An outfit is never finished without painted nails. I am a firm believer in taking that extra step to complete the look with a fun nail polish. It is the best accessory a lady can have. I’m also a firm believer in DIY home manicures to save money and this allows you to constantly change your look for outfits. Sundays are normally my nail painting nights and I always think about what I have going on that week before picking out my color. Some weeks call for a classic pale pink and then some weeks really need a pop of bright color. I know this is a luxury right now since I have extra time in my schedule (i.e., no kiddos yet) so I fully intend on enjoying it while I can.

3// store
Forever21 makes my heart so happy. I can’t explain the feeling I get inside when I find a beautiful dress that fits me perfectly for the incredible price of $19.50! It just does not make sense but thanks to Forever21 it is reality. Yes, some of their items are questionable and most of the clothing doesn’t last forever {ironic, huh?} but for the low prices and always changing styles it’s a win in my book.

Well there ya have it... these life changing facts in my fashion world {sarcasm} and my first try at a timed photo shoot. Out of the twenty something photos I took that was the best one, ha! I'm most definitely NOT a fashion blogger but I do love to see all the beautiful outfits that they flawlessly put together. Yes, I may or may not try and copy them sometimes but in my little fashion world stripes, nail polish and a F21 shopping trip is my happy place. 

Take a look back at week 1 of Total Truth here!

Total Truth // Marriage

During the next 10 weeks I am so thrilled to take part in the exciting challenge that Kelsea & Kristin have put together. These two ladies are quickly becoming two of my favorite bloggers recently so I can’t wait to see what this challenge will create. It will be so freeing to share my thoughts on the subjects and be open and honest with how I feel about them each week. During these weeks ahead I thought I would share three facts that I know to be true in my life about each topic. I think that this will help me keep my thoughts more specific and explain how my heart truly feels each week. After all, this link up was created so we could share the total truth about each topic, openly and freely with out any fear of judgment. It will be so awesome to look back on these posts in the coming years and see how my outlook has changed and evolved. As the ladies said, be brave & share! 

So, this week’s topic is about marriage. I still consider myself a newlywed (I think it is safe to do so for the first year!) so I can’t come at this topic with a wealth of knowledge like some of you women can, but I know that I have learned so much in the past five months of being a wife.

1// think before do
While we were in our marriage counseling before our wedding day I remember hearing “before you start an argument think to yourself, is this worth fighting for?” and that has really stayed with me during the past several months. There are some things that I could pick an argument about and just for kicks and giggles, here’s one example; the crumbs that my sweet husband so kindly leaves on the counter from his sandwich he makes at lunch every day. Every. Single. Day. It is super annoying. When I walk in the door and see the light shining on the kitchen counter and all the little pieces of bread scattered around I have to think to myself, do I need to make a big deal about this or can I just walk over to the counter and sweep them off and toss them away? At the end of the day it is not a big deal. Yes, sometimes I wait to brush off those crumbs until he is in the kitchen with me and I may say “babe….. see, this is not hard to do.” but that is the point. It is not hard to do. It is not a big deal. So I let it slide. Letting things slide is one of the most important pieces to the happiness in our marriage thus far and I’m pretty sure it goes both ways. I know that I have some annoying habits that he doesn't pick at either.

2// making a point to do things together 
It seems simple but with busy schedules it can become so easy to let the days simply pass by. I think it is the little things that we make sure we do together that make the difference. Eating dinner together at the table with the TV turned off so we can sit and talk about our day. Going to bed at the same time instead of separately. Spending our weekends doing activities and projects together. Togetherness is one of my favorite parts of married life and I waited a very long time to enjoy that part of life with Peter so I don’t want to let those moments become less important. Of course there are times when this does not happen, like those nights when it is nice to have a grilled cheese in the living room and watch an episode of House of Cards together. Or those nights where I am so tired and fighting a headache so I go to bed early. And weekends when I have different plans with either my mom or girlfriends so we don't see each other for an afternoon. All of that stuff happens but 99% of the time we are together in this thing called life. Doing life together is about all the little moments that bleed into the big moments. I truly believe that if you are one on the little things then the big things will seem a lot less big.

3// centered on Christ
And the most important part of our marriage is realizing that it is not OUR marriage, it is HIS. Everything we do as husband and wife should glorify the Lord. Our actions toward each other should mirror the love and grace that He has for us. We pray together. We go to church and worship together. We are together and bound to Him forever and no one can change that. I'm not saying that every day will be perfect but we serve a perfect God that looks at us and forgives our imperfections every day and that gives me peace. As long as we keep Christ at the center of our marriage I know that we will be able to make it through anything. Our mission is to further the Lord's kingdom, all for His glory. He is in control.

Marriage: the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law,
by which they become husband and wife.

A simple definition for such a big blessing

& I'm so thankful for the man that I get to experience marriage with.