when you lose your bible.

A couple weeks ago I was frantically trying to find my bible before church. It had been a few weeks since we were in town to actually GO to church so I couldn't remember the last time I had it. Then it hit me, I can't remember the last time I opened my bible. What a terrible feeling for someone that used to open that bible every single day. Someone who craved it, not just doing it to check something off the list of things to do. 

The last few months have been busy. It is a busy season of change... with the summer coming up and this little man growing in my belly. My mind has been boggled with plans for the weeks ahead and slightly obsessed with the new life that will be joining us in September. Of course I have been thanking God every day for all that we have. I've been talking to Him. relying on Him, singing to Him in the car, but have I been reading His word? Nope. 

I went to the "lost and found" area at church and was so thankful to find my journal and my bible waiting on me. I was so upset the whole time I didn't know where it was because I love journaling through my bible and making notes. The thought of losing that was breaking my heart. Then I felt convicted because this really did mean I didn't have my bible for three whole weeks. How could something so precious to my heart be missing from my life for that long. It only pointed out the fact that it really wasn't so precious at all. I would like to say that conviction moved me and I read my bible every day that week, but I didn't. I still made excuses and filled my days and nights with so many things to do and my bible stayed on the kitchen island most of the week.

At church we are going through the book of James. It is a short but tough book in the bible and we are truly digging into it. I've enjoyed it a lot. A few Sundays ago we talked about judgement and how we are not called to judge other believers because that is not our place. That is God's place. We all judge, we all compare, but it is a lot easier to stop pointing fingers when He turns that finger back on yourself. He was pointing at me. He was poking that hurt spot that I haven't fixed yet. The part of me that makes excuses and doesn't take the time to read His word. I'm thankful for that.

I'm thankful for His love. I'm thankful for His grace. And I'm so thankful that it will never run out, even when I lose my bible, I can never lose Him.