holding tight.

I think this time of year is always so exciting. The summer is coming to a close, which means the leaves will be changing soon and soup will be poured into dinner bowls and apples will be picked off the trees while the pumpkins are sitting on the porch. All very, very good things in my book! Another big change for many of us are the new schools, and teachers and classrooms, but I decided to sneak in one more year with both my boys at home together, while I could. Don’t get me wrong, I thought about it, and even toured a church preschool for a pre-K class, but I changed my mind for several reasons. One of them being the ache in my heart to keep Solomon close to me just a little bit longer. I’m thankful to have many friends with toddlers, so he’s never far from time with other children, but I know that isn’t the same thing. I know be would love it and thrive and grow so much at the chance to be away for a few hours a week, but it just didn’t feel right. Partly selfishly and then partly realistically. Either way, I’m holding tight just a little bit longer.

All this preparation in my heart for the possibility of letting go a little bit made my mind race. I see All the posts from friends as they send their kids to school. I hear the nervousness in my sister-in-laws voice as she talked about her son going to public school for the first time. There are a lot of firsts for us all, but I kept hearing the Lord reminding me that nothing is a first for Him. He knows the plans of our future and he holds us all in his hands. One of the many posts that I saw this week reminded all the parents out there of a very important truth simply stating “God loves them more.” And that is true. He loves us, and he gave us these little lives to love, teach, and then release out into the world, but then we have to remember that he loves those lives more than we could ever imagine. More than we  ever could possibly love them. They are his. 

So, as I soak in one more year with my little guys, playing and learning together, I will work my hardest to show them Christ in our home. Hopefully that will prepare Solomon even more for his first day of school. More than practicing numbers, letters and writing his name, but teaching him about the one who created the stars in the sky, and made him the strong and smart boy that he has become. Working on his heart more than his mind, so that when he is away from me, he will know he is loved by a real God & also treat others with kindness and love. 

I'm praying for all you parents who drove away from your babies this week. Those who dropped them off for a couple of hours & those who won't see them till their next holiday break. I can only imagine how your hearts must have felt and how tightly you wanted to hold on, but just remember, God loves them more. And he loves you, too!

& I can only imagine how many more hours I will spend laying on the floor coloring with my big boy. He's obsessed, and I absolutely love it!!!